


You and I

by hidinginmybones



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bars, Depression, Drinking, F/M, Smoking, UST, not strictly underage but she's still in hogwarts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-25
Updated: 2013-05-25
Packaged: 2017-12-12 22:40:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/816890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hidinginmybones/pseuds/hidinginmybones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lily Luna Potter and Teddy Lupin are torn apart when she leaves to go pursue her Quidditch career in America. She comes back six years later and she wants to pick up where they left off. Teddy wants to as well, the problem is that he won't admit it, not even to himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You and I

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the Harry Potter Next Gen Big Bang on Livejournal and sometimes, it was like pulling teeth! I have some great art from Lemonade 8 here: http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/lemonade8/3899974/17957/17957_900.png and I just really hope that it's enjoyable. Congrats to all that participated, seeing as this is the last one to be posted this year. Title is from Lady Gaga's song by the same name.

  
_A million hours left to think of you  
And think of that_  
The Con-Tegan and Sara

Ted Lupin stands behind the bar, meticulously wiping down a high baller and humming to himself. It’s been a quiet night at the Hog’s Head, more than likely due to the stormy weather outside but Teddy doesn’t mind. He loves this bar and he’s always been willing to spend a little extra time here. Besides, the lack of custom will give him a chance to get some paperwork done. He drops his rag in the sink and dries his hands on the towel he has attached to his waist and starts to head back into his office- there’s a bell on the door so it’s not like he won’t hear it if someone comes in- when that very bell rings.

Ted plasters a smile onto his face, ready to greet the customer in his usually friendly manner but that look is wiped from his features immediately when he sees who it is that’s just walked in. Had he been holding something, he would have dropped it. It’s a good thing he’d already finished polishing the glasses. Standing in the doorway, wearing a long, black gown, framed perfectly by the white snow falling behind her is Lily Luna Potter. Ted isn’t sure if he should tell her to leave or go to her and fall to his knees in worship. He’s always had these conflicting emotions when it comes to Harry’s youngest child. Instead of doing either of these things, he feigns indifference and says, “Welcome to the Hog’s Head. Do you mind closing the door? It’s storming out there.”

He looks back down and pretends to wipe the counter. He’s not sure he’s willing to be nice, not yet. He hasn’t seen Lily in six years and the last time he had, she’d thrown a full bottle at champagne at him. It was a good thing she’d never had good aim because the bottle hit the ground a few feet away from him and shattered ineffectually on the ground. But the action had still taken place and Ted isn’t sure if he’s forgiven her yet even though he thought he’d gotten over her years ago. Now that he’s faced with her in his run down little bar, he doesn’t think he could answer that question truthfully anymore.

He hears the door close and assumes she’s come in but he doesn’t know for sure until she pulls out a stool and shrugs off her white, fur lined coat and sits down directly in front of him. Ted can’t help but look up now, Lily has always had that effect on him. His mouth nearly drops open when his eyes meet hers. She looks exactly the same as she had six years ago, when she’d walked out of his life to chase her dreams, only to come out short-changed. He knows that she’d left because she couldn’t afford to continue dating him if she wanted to become a professional quidditch player. A humble barkeep had no place in the life of someone famous like that. It didn’t matter though because even after six years, Lily had only managed to play in the semi-pro league and even then, only for one single season. She’d left him and it hadn’t helped her at all. Teddy’s not sure he’ll ever forgive her for it. 

It strikes Teddy as funny that Lily looks the exact same, only maybe a little more fit. Her hair is still long, red and styled in ringlets that spill over her dainty, freckled shoulders and her lips still form that pout he used to love so much. Her eyes still sparkle in the same way and if she’d been wearing a pair of jeans and a Weasley jumper instead of a dress, her fashion sense wouldn’t have changed over the years either. It’s funny to him because of how different Teddy looks now than he had six years ago. Before, he’d been partial to keeping his hair in a longer style, midnight blue in hue and slightly messy at the back. Now his hair is shorter, a sandy brown instead of blue and messy all over. He finds often that he looks like he’d just rolled out of bed, but he likes it that way because it requires far less attention. He’s also allowed his height and features to relax into their natural state. He’d been tired of trying to change himself, make himself look ‘better’ by using his metamorphmagus powers and hiding who he is. Now that he’s relaxed on that front, more often than not, he’s got many options as to who is warming his bed at night, he can hardly keep track.

His hair and features aren’t the only change to his body either. Teddy now spends many afternoons working out with Jamie, who is serious about fitness, and has developed quite a fit body because of it. In addition to all of that, and perhaps the most important of his changes, are all the tattoos he’s gotten over the years. The thing that makes them unique though, is that they’re not wizarding tattoos, they don’t move and they aren’t magically fueled. Teddy has gotten every single one in Muggle London, by an artist by the name of Sick and it’s inspired him to totally redo the bar in a muggle Rock and Roll theme. It’s like a sort of hot spot now, because it still serves Wizarding alcohol but allows witches and wizards to explore the novel that is a muggle bar. Hogsmeade is still a purely wizarding community, so none of his patrons have to worry about the use of magic, or going home with someone of non-magic blood without knowing. Now that the war has been over for so many years, the Wizarding world is very curious about muggles and Teddy’s bar is one of the places they get to experience this curiosity. He absolutely loves it, loves that it had been his idea and loves how successful it’s been. 

He realizes belatedly that he’s staring when she smiles at him so he drops his eyes and asks, “Can I get you something?” He really can’t believe that she’s here, or that she looks just like she had when she was eighteen, her long dark red hair curled perfectly over her shoulders, her deep green eyes expressive and longing but perhaps more wounded than they had been then. She’s still beautiful in that secretive way that she has, even through the too-thick makeup around her eyes.

“I like your hair brown,” she says softly, “and I love your scruffy beard, not to mention those sexy tattoos I see,” she says. Her eyes somehow sparkle more before she adds, “Teddy, you look great.”

“It’s Ted now,” he says. He only lets the people he likes still call him Teddy, like Jamie and Al, and of course, Harry.

“Ted then,” she replies. He knows that she’s looking at him but he refuses to look up. “Ted, can I have a shot of your finest Southern Rune, followed by a tall glass of Carmel Diadem, please.”

“I remember you as an Obsidian Elixir girl,” Ted replies but he gets to work on her request. At least he can make some money during this storm.

Lily laughs, the sound deep and rich, just like he remembers it. “That sounds amazing,” she says. “I haven’t had one in six years, after I realized that no one made them as good as you do.” She reaches out then, and puts a hand on his. “You should have one with me, after,” she says gently.

Ted pulls his hand back almost like it’s been burned. He finishes make her shot and puts it down in front of her, careful not to touch her again. The first touch had sent both shivers and waves of heat over his body. He can’t believe that after all of these years, a mere touch from Lily can still make him feel so much. She meets his eyes, looking suitably chastised and takes her shot, downing it immediately and then taking a sip of her Carmel Diadem after he sets that down as well.

“I can’t, I have to work,” he says finally.

“Oh come now, Ted,” she replies, a little bit louder than she’s been so far. “You own this place and it’s empty,” she adds, “And I promise I won’t tell anyone if you have a teensy little drink with an old friend.”

Teddy looks at her incredulously and asks, “So we’re friends now then? We weren’t friends when you left me for fame. We weren’t friends when you refused to talk to me afterward and we definitely haven’t been friends for the past six years.”

“Ted-”

“No, Lily. You just don’t get it. We’re not friends, I can’t be your friend. You’re the only person I can have feelings for and I just can’t forget you. No, we aren’t friends and I’m not sure we can even be in the same room together, after you did that to me,” he takes the remainder of her drink and pours it down the sink. “I think you should go,” he says, refusing to look at her at all.

“Teddy-”

“I said that you should leave,” he repeats. He turns his back to the bar but still strains his ears to hear her put on her coat, to hear her heels as the click against the shabby hardwood floors and then finally the creak of the door closing behind her. Ted exhales in relief. He stands there, hands against the bar, breathing deeply, for a few moments before cleaning the glass that’s still stained red with Lily’s lipstick. He closes early, then, and heads up the back staircase to his flat, where he gets ridiculously drunk and tries to forget how similar this night had been to the night Lily had come to him after breaking up with McLaggen when she was only sixteen. He tries not to think about how differently this night had turned out in comparison. He drinks until he passes out and needs to open the next night. Thankfully, Lily Luna Potter does not make a repeat appearance.

***

_I still wanna see you tonight, will you be around?_  
I still wanna get you alone, will you be around?  
Can I take all the steps I’m planning tonight  
Without Risking it all?  
Can I make all the moves I’m making tonight  
Without hurting you bad?  
Body Work-Mogan Page f. Tegan and Sara

_Teddy is tidying the high ball glasses and placing them on the shelves gently because his cleaning charms are shit when Lily walks into his bar. He looks up at her as the magical announcement sounds upon her opening of the door and a wide grin stretches across his face. Lily feels herself grinning back in kind despite the depressing reason for her coming to the Hog’s Head in the first place. “Little Lily-Luna,” he says as he leans up across the hardwood of the counter. “What brings you to my posh establishment this lovely evening?”_

_“First, I’m not little, I’m nearly eighteen, Teddy. Second, this place is as far from posh as anything can be, aside from Hagrid’s old hut and thirdly, it’s storming out, or have you been in here all day and haven’t noticed?” Lily replies as she tosses her bag onto the floor and slides up into one of his bar stools. She leans toward him and arches one of her eyebrows at him. “Now what do you have here for a girl that was just tossed aside by the Ravenclaw Quidditch Captain for his keeper?”_

_“McLaggen broke up with you?” Teddy has already moved toward the other side of the counter. She watches as he spells a glass down from its shelf, Lily’s favourite, the one that’s shaped as a skull and stained purple, and surveys the bottles upon bottles of liquor available. She sees his hesitation and she knows it’s because of her age. He does this every time she comes in; he dawdles over some moral issue having to do with the fact that he knows her father wouldn’t approve. Lily is lucky for the storm. She doubts anyone will brave it to come in for a drink so there will be no witnesses for Teddy’s indiscretion. Lily will be lucky if he even lets her head back to Hogwarts in it. When he finally grasps one of the bottles, she knows that she’s come to the right place and the right person._

_“Less breaking up and more me walking in on them together in the change room showers,” Lily replies. “And to make it worse, he blamed me for it, saying that since I’m not a Ravenclaw, I had no right to be in there, nevermind that he’s my boyfriend,” she stops for a moment and sighs. “Was, he was my boyfriend,” she corrects._

_Teddy sets a tumbler down onto the counter beside Lily and summons a glass. He pours the tumbler’s contents into the glass and pushes it toward her. “Seems like you need this,” he says gravely._

_“I do,” Lily replies as she bites her red lip and reaches forward, “but I don’t want to drink alone,” she admits, “it just makes this all seem so much more pathetic.”_

_“Well,” Teddy replies, smiling at her crookedly, “seeing as I was aware of the storm outside, I was planning to close up early tonight. As long as you don’t mind drinking with an old guy like me, we can take this up to my flat and you can tell me all about your teenage woes,” he suggests. He’s already moving toward closing up the bar, wand waving wildly to summon everything to the kitchen. Lily knows how horrid his cleaning spells are but she doesn’t blame him for leaving the few dirty glasses for the morning. She watches as he organizes a few bottles to bring up to his flat with them._

_“Teddy,” Lily scolds, “What will my father say?”_

_“Harry won’t say anything because you’re not going to tell him. My favourite almost relative doesn’t get fucked over every day and I plan to make you forget all about it,” Teddy replies. He frowns at the bottles he’s chosen and then twists to reach up manually to grab one more before turning back toward Lily. “Are you ready?” he asks._

_Lily nods and grabs her glass and then Teddy leads her up into the flat above the Hog’s Head. He locks the door with a wave of his wand and then settles down on the sofa in his sitting room. He pats the seat next to him invitingly and arches an eyebrow at her. Lily joins him and leans her head on his shoulder all while trying to ignore the fluttering of her stomach because of the butterflies that have just appeared, completely uninvitedly. Teddy wraps his arms around her and pulls her closer to him which only causes the butterflies to multiply, “Alright, you are going to drink that drink and tell me all about how awful he is,” he says into her hair._

_Lily sighs and pulls away regretfully because she knows that being this close to Teddy, the man she’s been crushing on since she can remember while intoxicated is only a recipe for disaster. She highly doubts that Teddy feels the same for her. Keeping her distance, Lily picks up her glass and takes a hearty swig of it before replacing the drink on the table. “Bloody hell, Teddy, what did you put in that?” she asks, scrunching up her face all the while._

_Teddy laughs, “Oh just some firewhiskey... and by some I mean mostly.” He pours himself a drink as well but before he can put the bottle back down, Lily stops him with a hand underneath it and tips it further forward. When he shoots her a shocked look, she just shrugs and smirks right back at him._

_“If I’m going to be drunk, so are you, you devil,” she replies with a laugh. She stares him down until he tips his glass back and drinks deeply. Lily takes her own glass and takes an equally healthy gulp before setting the glass back down onto the table._

_“You wound me,” Teddy replies through a smirk. He takes another sip of his drink, a small one this time and moves closer to her again. She thought she’d banished them, but the butterflies have returned with a vengeance. Lily picks up her drink and uses it as a cover so that she can try to catch her breath._

_“I doubt it,” Lily replies playfully but then the reason she came to him in the first place settles back into her mind. She leans her head on his shoulder again and sighs, “Ted, why can’t all men be like you?” she asks._

_Teddy laughs and slides his arm over her shoulder. She knows that he’s not taking her seriously and that’s both good and bad. It’s good because she’s ten years younger than him and she knows she can’t be trusted to stay at bay but bad because she wants him so much she can hardly stand it, most of the time._

_“Maybe they are,” Teddy replies simply. His voice is soft and far too close to her ear when he says, “maybe you just don’t like ‘em nice,” he adds before sipping his drink and refilling hers. She knows that he’s right too; it seems like every guy Lily has dated since she started liking them has not been very good for her. The last boyfriend she’d had dumped her right before she’d been supposed to write her O.W.L.s. She’d managed to pull through okay, but it had been an ass move on his part. It seems now that McLaggen is the same as all the others, which is really something she should have expected. Aunt Hermione had warned her about it._

_She just shakes her head at him and makes a face, then show points toward his old muggle guitar in the corner. “Play for me,” Lily says quietly, “play for me and make me forget...”_

_Teddy smiles at her gently and shrugs. He stands up and fetches the guitar then returns to her side on the sofa. He strums a few times to make sure the guitar is still in tune and then begins to play a slow, sweet tune. Lily closes her eyes and sinks back into his old, worn sofa and just lets herself feel. She sings the lyrics to the songs she knows, still keeping her eyes closed and head thrown back. When she finally opens them, she finds Teddy staring at her incredulously, like he’s never seen something so beautiful in his life. She stops singing then, takes a long drink and then refills her cup again. She’s too raw from what McLaggen has done to her to know how to react appropriately to what’s happening and she might be drunk enough to be reading too far into his actions._

_After a few long moments, Teddy sets the guitar down and drinks from his cup as well. Finally, he sets his arm on Lily’s shoulder and leans forward. For one single second, Lily thinks that he’s going to kiss her but he starts speaking instead, “Lily, he didn’t deserve you. I know I shouldn’t say this but I’m drunk, so fuck it. You’re beautiful and talented and you put your heart first. He didn’t deserve you and you can’t let him get to you like this. You’ll find someone that does and he’ll be the happiest man in the world.”_

_Lily smiles at him softly and leans forward. She kisses his cheek then pulls back before she lets herself do anything else. “Thanks, Teddy. You always know how to make a girl feel better about herself.”_

_“Call it a secret talent,” Teddy replies. He drains the remainder of his drink and refills both their glasses._

_For a while, Lily drinks in silence, thinking about what Teddy has said. Truth be told, she knows why she keeps choosing the men that she does. She does it because she knows that it will never last and because she knows that the only one she wants is the only one she can’t have. Finally, she’s too drunk to make it back to Hogwarts without assistance and he’s too drunk to bring her there so she ends up sleeping in Teddy’s bed, after he absolutely insists that she take it. He smiles at her as he tucks the blanket around her and then stumbles toward the door. “Sleep well Little Lily Luna,” he says gently._

_Lily falls asleep surrounded by Teddy’s spicy scent feeling altogether too warm and too wonderful. She dreams of Teddy, his deep laugh and his warm arms and somehow, she knows that through the dreams she’s smiling._

_When she wakes the next morning, she nicks one of Teddy’s hangover potions, forces herself not to throw it up and then tucks the blankets around Teddy before she returns to Hogwarts. She feels absolutely fine about the break up with McLaggen and she knows that it’s all because of Teddy. Now that she’s single, she vows to spend more time at the Hog’s Head so that she can see Teddy more often, maybe find out what that look the night before had all been about._

***

_If it ain’t your love  
I want blood from you_  
I want Blood-Empires

It’s not until three days later, when the bar is full of seventh year students, that Lily shows up again. Teddy’s been making Warlord Dutchies, a bitter but highly alcoholic drink, all night because they’re all celebrating something or other and he’s already had to cut a few of the more rowdy kids off. It’s so busy that he doesn’t notice her sit down right away but eventually the glow of her hair catches his eye and warmth spreads across his chest.

He ignores her all night, flirting outrageously with girls that are far too young for him and refusing to ask her if she wants a drink. At the end of the night, Teddy needs to bribe the Gryffindor quidditch captain and his friends with shots of Ogden’s to make them leave. Once the bar is once again empty of patrons, Teddy remembers that Lily had walked in hours ago. He groans because he doesn’t want to deal with her but she’s still sitting in the corner, waiting. Once the last person leaves and the door shuts, she stands and moves toward the bar. 

“Do you need some help cleaning up?” she asks. 

He looks at her and shakes his head, “Not from you, I don’t,” he replies. He summons all of the glasses carefully and allows them to drift down onto the counter. He’s always been pants at cleaning charms so he knows he’ll be here still for a while so that he can get the place ready for the next night. 

“Then I’ll just sit here until you’re done, or until you’re ready to talk to me,” she replies as she slides into one of the stools. 

Teddy sighs and turns his back to her. He grabs a tumbler and mixes a drink before setting it down in front of her. “On the house,” he mumbles while still refusing to meet her gaze. 

“Thank you, Ted,” he hears her reply. 

He pretends to not notice that she’s there throughout the whole clean up, not even acknowledging her when she speaks to him. He feels like he’s acting like a bit of a dick, but he can’t help it. She doesn’t deserve his attention, she doesn’t deserve anything from him. He doesn’t even know why she’d bother coming here at all. He wants nothing to do with her, not anymore. He can feel his anger at her grow as he cleans up his pub and by the time everything is finished, he’s possibly more angry than he had been when she’d first left him. He stands across from her with the bar between them and glares until she looks up and meets his eyes.

“Your hair is green; you’re angry,” Lily states unnecessarily. She reaches forward but Teddy pull back so she just drops her hand like she hadn’t been trying to touch him in the first place. “I always thought it strange that your hair turned green, of all colours, when you were angry,” she adds gently. 

“What the fuck do you want, Lily?” he spits back at her, his words striking like venom. 

“I just want to talk to you,” she replies gently as she looks at him with a desperate sadness. He can tell that what she says is true, he’s always been able to tell when Lily is lying. That’s part of what made the last few months they spent together so goddamned hard. 

“After six years of complete silence, to the point that you even ignored my owls? Now you want to talk? That’s just lovely, but I fucking don’t. I’m beyond talking to you,” Teddy replies. He takes the now-empty drink glass from her and turns his back. “I want you to leave, and I don’t want you to come back,” he states, just like he had the last time she’d shown up, just like he’ll do if she shows up again.

“Teddy, please-” she starts but he just walks away and doesn’t answer. He stays hidden in the kitchen until he hears her leave and then breathes a sigh of relief. He hopes that this time she gets the point and that he won’t have to see Lily Luna Potter again, save for visits to Harry’s house when she happens to be there. Maybe not even then, Teddy’s sure that he can just owl Harry ahead of time now that Lily is back. That way, he’ll never have to see her again.

Teddy thinks that if he keeps telling himself that’s what he wants, then maybe he’ll start believing it. Truthfully though, he wants nothing more than to hear what she has to say but he’s still so angry at her for leaving in the first place that he can’t let himself listen.

When he finally goes to bed that night after drinking down Obsidian Elixir after Obsidian Elixir, he dreams of deep red hair, pale skin and freckles. He dreams of warmth and satisfaction and in his dreams he smells warm honey and flowers and hears a light, melodic laugh. Upon waking the next morning with his head pounding and his stomach roiling, he tries to tell himself that it had been Jamie he’d been dreaming of, but even Teddy can’t believe he’d go so far to lie to himself. He forces himself back to sleep and this time dreams of blissful nothingness. 

When he wakes for the second time, it’s to the sound of an owl fluttering into his bedroom, clutching a rolled parchment in its talons. He knows this owl as Al’s, who is likely asking him for a favour, more than likely involving Jamie. Teddy groans because his head is still pounding but he reaches for the letter nonetheless. The owl flies off without waiting for a reply and Teddy unrolls it. It’s exactly as he thought it to be, Al wants Teddy to take Jamie out somewhere to get him out of the house so that Al can have a romantic date with Scorpius. Teddy doesn’t know what Al sees in the little prat but it’s not really his place to say anything. He’d never been as close with Al as he had with Jamie, and especially not as close as he had been with Lily. He doesn’t think that he’s ever been as close with anyone as he had been with Lily. 

He doesn’t want to think of that, so instead he scrawls a letter to Jamie, inviting him out for a night of debauchery and making sure he doesn’t bring Lily along. She can find her own entertainment for the evening. He gets one back soon, with Jamie telling him that he’d been looking for something to do. 

At this point, Teddy pulls himself out of bed and reaches for a hangover potion. He’s going to need to brew some more soon; ever since Lily’s return, he’d been going through it more quickly than he had in previous years. He tries to push that thought aside as he gets ready for a night out. It’s a Sunday, so his own bar will be closed that evening but he’s more than well aware that there will be many that are not. All Teddy wants is to go out, sit in the corner and get quietly drunk. He has the feeling that Jamie has no intention to allow him to do so but that doesn’t stop him from wishing it. He just hopes that he can get through this evening without making an ass of himself and mentioning Lily. Doing the latter would be a huge mistake and Teddy knows it.

***

_Turn off the lights and turn off the shyness_  
cuz all of our moves make up for the silence  
and oh, the way your makeup stains my pillowcase  
like I’ll never be the same  
Of All the Gin Joints in all the World- Fall Out Boy

 

_Weeks pass before Lily manages to sneak out and see Teddy again. Of course Flitwick had gotten wind of her little disappearing act and had doled out detention as well as kept tabs on her in the weeks following. Fortunately, it’s a Hogsmeade weekend and he hadn’t banned her from those, so she’s free to head to the Hog’s Head and smile and bat her lashes at Teddy as much as she likes. This time, the bar counter will be between them so she can behave less well. She’s wearing her sexiest pair of muggle jeans specifically for this purpose. She manages to slip away from her friends and steps into the bar._

_There aren’t many patrons at this time, likely because it’s the middle of the afternoon and not many people, not even witches and wizards, start drinking this early. There’s only one witch on the far side of the bar producing purple smoke and drinking something that occasionally foams. There’s also a wizard at the bar, so Lily climbs onto the stool beside him. Teddy smiles when he notices her and she smiles back in return._

_“Hey Lils,” he says after stopping in front of her and leaning toward her. “Haven’t seen your pretty face here in a while. How is everything?” he asks._

_She knows that he’s referring to the break up but she’s been over that since the day after she’d shown up on his doorstep. “Oh, you know,” she replies evasively, “Flitwick caught me coming back in that morning so I’ve had detention for the past three weeks but it’s nothing I can’t deal with,” she says._

_“I meant about the...” Teddy replies, raising an eyebrow._

_“McLaggen is a douchebag, he can rot in the Chamber of Secrets with that basilisk corpse,” she shrugs. “It was nothing copious amounts of firewhiskey couldn’t fix.” It had also helped that she’d spent the evening with Teddy but she’s not quite ready to admit that._

_Teddy laughs, “Glad to hear it. Now, what can I get a pretty young thing like yourself?”_

_“More firewhiskey is always welcome,” Lily states as she tries her best to look mature and worldly. Maybe he’ll actually give it to her if she somehow makes him forget that she’s still only sixteen._

_“How about something that won’t get you more detention?” he suggests while shaking his head at her._

_“Teddy, I turn eighteen next week and I’ll be of age, can’t you make an exception?” she bats her eyes at him prettily but he remains stony in his resolve._

_“How about you come back next week and I’ll give you so much booze that you won’t even remember it the next day, all on the house. For today it’s butterbeer,” he states as he turns and summons a bottle for her. He removes the lid with some muggle contraption and sets it in front of her. “I made it myself,” he adds with a smirk._

_Lily sighs and takes a sip. Teddy’s homemade butterbeer is absolutely delicious but she had been looking to break the rules. “If I come next week, you have to promise me that you’ll get drunk with me. It’s not everyday a witch turns eighteen you know,” she says._

_“I’ll close the bar,” he promises. “Bring all of your friends. We’ll celebrate your coming of age proper.”_

_Lily agrees but she has absolutely no intention of bringing anyone else with her. She wants to spend her birthday with Teddy and no one else. She takes another sip of her butterbeer as a few straggling Hogwarts students wander in and he tends to them. Already she finds herself imagining what it will be like to come to the Hog’s Head next week. She thinks that first, Teddy will be surprised to see her walk in alone, but then she’ll tell him that no one else could come with her and they’ll slip up to his flat again. It’ll be just like the last time, at first. She’ll ask him to play for her again but this time, instead of closing her eyes while she sings along, she’ll steal glances of him and when she sees him look at her that special way again, she’ll lean in for a kiss. If he pulls away, she’ll blame it on the drink but if he doesn’t... well Lily has plans for that occasion as well. In none of her fantasies does she return to Hogwarts that night and in the most explicit ones, she sleeps in Teddy’s bed and this time, he’s there with her._

_Lily smiles dreamily to herself until she’s snapped out of it by Teddy casting his shadow over her, standing far too close for him to still be behind the bar. She turns to face him and he grins at her. “What’s gotten you so smiley?” he asks playfully. “Another bloke?”_

_“No,” Lily giggles, “I’m not a slag, Ted,” she replies, denying the truth even though she’s sure that the truth of Teddy’s words are evident on her face._

_“I never said you were,” he replies. “But there’s got to be something, or someone that’s made you look so happy,” he replies as he reaches forward and ruffling her hair._

_“I’m just excited for next week, that’s all,” Lily replies. She drinks more of her butterbeer and smiles widely at him. “This is really excellent. You should teach me how to brew it.”_

_“And give away all my secrets? No way,” Teddy states. He stands and moves back toward his bar, “Maybe when you’re older,” he adds._

_She shakes her head, “I won’t have time when I’m older, I’ll be training for quidditch.”_

_She sees Teddy wince and immediately regrets what she’d said. She knows that Teddy had been playing for the semi-pro leagues and had just signed a contract with the Canons but then he’d had to rescind it due to a serious leg injury that had forced him off of a broom for years. When he’d finally recovered, he’d lost a lot of his flying ability and they’d no longer wanted him. He’d taken a job at Aberforth’s little bar at that point, wanting nothing more than to escape the limelight, and when Aberforth had passed on a few years back, Teddy had inherited the Hog’s Head. While Lily knows that he’s content in his quiet life, she also knows that he’d go back in time in a second to prevent the injury from ever happening._

_“Merlin Teddy, I’m-”_

_“Don’t worry about it, it’s been ages,” Teddy replies with a shrug. “Just be aware that it’s really hard to get onto a team and heartbreaking if you don’t make it.”_

_Lily nods, it’s nothing she hasn’t heard before. “I know, I’ll make it though, I can feel it.”_

_“Well then I wish you all the luck,” he says. “Now, why are you wasting your afternoon with an old man like me when you could be out there, wreaking havoc with your friends all over the town?”_

_“I see them every day, I only see you when I manage to sneak off,” Lily shrugs._

_Teddy gets a strange look on his face, one that Lily isn’t sure she knows the meaning of and his hair start to turn pink at the roots. She sees him regain control and force it back to its regular colour of midnight blue before he nods. “Well then, enjoy my company, however boring it may be,” he laughs,_

_“I will,” Lily decides while raising her bottle toward him in a sort of mock cheer._

_He smiles at her again before he goes off to attend to his other customers._

_Lily stays there until late in the evening, chatting with Teddy and drinking butterbeer until her friends come to retrieve her. She waves on her way out the door and reminds Teddy that she’ll be there the following week and that he should be well prepared for some debauchery. She closes the door behind her to the sound of his rich laughter._

***

_Why can’t I feel anything for anyone other than you?_  
Cute Without the ‘E’- Taking Back Sunday

 

Teddy meets Jamie outside of a filthy looking muggle club and smirks. Jamie is completely decked out down to his shiny ginger curls and his too tight jeans. Teddy knows that he’s looking to pick up that night, possibly so that he can rudely interrupt Al’s fancy date. It’s kind of mean of him, but Al is trying to woo a Malfoy and Teddy is certainly of the opinion that old grudges die hard. 

Jamie shakes his head when Teddy approaches him. “Well you certainly don’t look like you’re here to have fun,” he states. 

“I’m not,” Teddy admits with a shrug, “Al asked a favour of me, so here I am,” he states truthfully. 

“Come on Teddy, you never want to have fun anymore,” James complains. He heads toward the entrance to the club and produces enough muggle money for the two of them and they are allowed in.

Immediately Tedd heads toward the bar and orders himself something strong and then leans back against it in order to survey the club. It’s not overly busy so far but he knows it’ll pick up by the end of the night. He and Jamie have spent many a drunken night here the only difference is that Teddy is usually in better spirits. 

Jamie joins him, but not for long because he is soon being pulled to the dance floor by some slag with a skirt too short and her tits almost bursting from the confines of her shirt. Teddy leans back, orders another drink and just watches James dance with a group of girls. 

Nearing the end of the night, Teddy still hasn’t moved from his spot at the bar and he truly has no intention to do so until Jamie catches his hand and drags him out onto the dance floor. Teddy is definitely drunk enough to follow and even drunk enough to allow a read haired girl to dance up on him. 

Jamie leans forward and catches Teddy, pulling him closer. “These girls want us to go back to their flat with them,” he says as a smirk winds over his face. “I think we should.” Teddy starts to shake his head but Jamie stops him, “Don’t you dare say no, Ted. I know you’re fucked up over Lily being back but you need to loosen up and this is the way to do it.”

It’s true, Teddy knows. Jamie is the only one that had known about his and Lily’s brief and doomed relationship, admitted to him on another one of these drunken nights after the fact because Teddy just couldn’t keep it to himself anymore. He looks at the red head still dancing on him even though he’s stopped moving and nods, “Yeah, okay, let’s go,” he agrees.

Once the decision is made, they don’t remain at the club for much longer. Soon, the little group of them hails a taxi, climbs in and heads off to the girls’ flat deeper into London. The ginger haired girl sits close to him, her hands tracing their way over his forearms, biceps and shoulders. Teddy wants to shrug her away but he doesn’t. He feels frozen in this situation, torn between wanting to go home with this girl, fuck her in his drunken haze and returning to his bar, drinking more and obsessing further over Lily. 

Once they get into the flat though, he forgets all about leaving because the girls start passing around muggle weed and Teddy is soon led back into the ginger’s bedroom. His head is in such a fuzz that he’s not even entirely sure what’s happening. He’s drunk and high and for once, for the first time since Lily had set her foot into his bar less than a week past, he feels good.

This might be because the girl is down between his legs with her mouth on his cock but Teddy isn’t going to complain. He hadn’t gotten laid for a while before Lily’s return and it feels good to actually be wanted again. He ends up taking her from behind, watching the spill of her red hair over her shoulder and staring at the brown of the freckles on her shoulders. He wishes he could gag her, so that he doesn’t have to hear her too enthusiastic cries of pleasure that bear no resemblance to Lily’s but he can’t. He finishes with a deep grunt and immediately begins to dress himself. He walks out of her room without saying anything to her, hearing only the sounds of her deep breathing coming from the bed. He closes the door and follows the sounds of Jamie’s voice.

“I’m leaving,” Teddy states, pausing only briefly at the door to the room of Jamie’s girl. 

“Ted, wait-” 

He doesn’t, he just heads toward the door and once outside, risks splinching due to his drunkenness and Aparates outside of his pub. Once he’s back inside his own flat, he works his way through the remainder of his own stores of Ogden’s in order to forget the pretty ginger girl he’d just fucked because she had been so completely unlike Lily. Teddy passes out on the floor with an empty bottle next to him before he can venture downstairs for more. 

 

He wakes to a muffled exclamation the next day and groans loudly. He rolls over only to find that he is on the floor of his flat, a floor that desperately needs cleaning. He blinks blearily at the person who had interrupted his death like sleep only to see ginger curls and a worried face. Jamie had come to check up on him.

“Bloody fuck, Teddy,” James says, moving forward to help him sit up. “What did you do to yourself?” 

“Tried t’forget,” Teddy admits. The room spins too much for him to sit up properly, so he just ends up leaning back against the sofa. Jamie passes him a vial of liquid, hangover potion he’s sure, and he tips it back, drinking it all down and hoping against all hope that it won’t make a sudden reappearance. Teddy slumps there, hand over his stomach and eyes facing the ceiling until he feels the potion begin to work its way through his system. Finally, he blinks a few times and looks over at Jamie. 

Jamie comes over and sits down beside Teddy and sighs, “Teddy, I know why you did what you did last night, and even you have to realize that it’s not healthy.” 

Teddy frowns at him. He’s tempted to get angry and rant at Jamie about how it’s not his fault, Lily is the one that had left him, and that he knows he shouldn’t want her back. He doesn’t, he just nods at his friend and huffs out a breath. “I know but I don’t know what to do,” he replies. 

“Well, as far as I can tell, you have two options,” Jamie says, leaning back against the base of the sofa. “You can keep obsessing about what happened between the two of you and end up completely bitter, angry and unfit for any other relationship that might happen in the future or, you could talk to her and maybe let yourself get over it. She really loved you Ted, and it was really hard on her, leaving like that. She didn’t feel like she had a choice though.”

Teddy turns to look at him and frowns. “What do you mean?” 

“After that last big fight of yours, she told you she was leaving but she didn’t. She haunted the halls of Grimmauld for a handful more weeks before she finally gave up on the idea that you were coming back. It was only then that she left and even still, it was really hard on her. Especially hard because she couldn’t tell anyone why she was so upset. I didn’t even know until you told me later,” he says with a shrug. 

Teddy hadn’t known that. Somehow, knowing now just makes him feel worse. He could have had her, could have kept her but he didn’t and now it feels like it’s even more his fault. “She sent owls, even after she left...” Teddy admits, “I didn’t even look at them.” 

“Ted,” Jamie replies reproachfully.

“I know. Looking back now, it seems like that was a bad idea,” he admits. 

“Yeah, I think it might have been,” Jamie agrees. “Why don’t you just try spending some time with her? You still love her, I can tell. I knew even before you fucked that girl that looked like her last night...” 

“That girl didn’t resemble Lily at all,” Teddy counters. “I made her get on her hands and knees because I couldn’t stand to look at her horse face.”

Jamie looks at him incredulously for a second before breaking out laughing, almost doubling over because of the force of it. Once he regains his breath, he says, “She wasn’t that bad.” 

“She wasn’t Lily,” Teddy replies with a shrug. He finally hoists himself up off of the floor and stretches. He turns to Jamie again so that he can tell him that he needs a shower but Jamie is frowning at him so he keeps quiet. 

After long moments, Jamie says, “Talk to her Ted, maybe have her come here and work with you on the busy nights or something. That way you can spend time with her without worrying about what to say and do. I know she’s been beyond bored since she got here...” 

“After how I treated her the last time she was here? I doubt she’ll want to spend any more time in this place, or with me,” Teddy replies. 

“I wouldn’t be so sure. Think about it, okay?” 

Teddy nods and eventually Jamie leaves. He thinks about what his friend had said for the rest of the afternoon before he opens up the Hog’s Head for the evening. He would like to speak to Lily, maybe, and having her work for him might be the best way to do that but, like he’d said to Jamie, he doubts Lily will be back. He'd made too much of an ass of himself last time she’d been here. 

She doesn’t come by that night, like he’d expected but thoughts of Lily are never far from his mind, not even when Rosmerta’s beautiful daughter walks in and basically propositions him at the end of the night. Instead of accepting, like he would have if this had been a mere week ago, he politely declines and plans out how he can approach Lily with a job offer...

*** 

_I promise I will take you there_  
We’ll drink and dance the night away  
The Taste of Ink- The Used

 

_Lily’s birthday falls on a Saturday this year, which is good because she spends the entirety of the morning and afternoon getting ready to see Teddy. Rose is there too but she’s not helping very much, in fact, she’s lecturing Lily and telling her that she shouldn’t go, that Teddy is far too old for her and that this is a mistake. Lily shakes her hair out and turns to look at her cousin._

_“Rose, it doesn’t matter what you say to me, I’m going tonight,” Lily states. her tone brokers no option of argument. She’s made up her mind and she’s not going to let someone force her to change it._

_Suddenly, Rose sighs, “Fine, just, be careful okay?” she says. “I worry about you and you know that Teddy is far too old...”_

_“Of course I do but that doesn’t matter to me,” she replies. “I just really like him and I think he might like me too,” Lily smiles. She sinks down onto the bed next to Rose, “Now help me pick out something to wear. A girl doesn’t come of age every day.”_

_Rose sighs and moves toward Lily’s closet with her and they both survey its contents. Upon her arrival at Hogwarts, Lily had refused to keep all of her clothes in a trunk and as soon as she learned how, she’d transfigured herself a small closet and set it beside her bed. Soon enough, all of the girls in her house had been asking her how to do it. Lily may not be the best potion brewer or the most accurate at arithmancy but it seems like she’s inherited her paternal grandfather’s gift for Transfiguration and she’s certainly not going to complain._

_Lily points her wand and summons a few things and then proceeds to strip all of her clothes off so that she can try on an outfit. Rose walks back over to her bed and watches her while biting her lip. First, Lily tries on a short skirt and a top that falls off one shoulder. She turns around to Rose and arches an eyebrow at her._

_“You look lovely, you always do, but do you really want to go over in a skirt? You don’t want him to think that you’re easy, do you?” she asks._

_“But I am that easy, Rose. At least, I would be with Teddy. I swear, I’ve been in love with him for my whole life and he just thinks I’m a little kid...” she complains. She rolls the hem of the shirt between her fingers. “I just want him to know that I want him.”_

_“I still think that’s more of a third date outfit. Even though you want him, he still needs to work for it, Lily. If he’s not willing to do that, then he doesn’t deserve to have you.” It makes sense, what Rose is saying to her, and Lily nods before pulling the shirt up and over her head, then summoning a few other clothing items from the closet._

_She pulls on a nice, form fitting dress that’s still casual enough not to make her look like a slag but Rose still shakes her head. “The problem with this is that Teddy knows you,” she says thoughtfully. “If you wear anything you wouldn’t normally wear, he’s going to know that something is up right away. I think that maybe you should just dress as yourself and let whatever is going to happen, happen.”_

_Lily bites her lip because this does sound like a good idea but... “I want to look good though, Rose,” she replies. “I don’t want to just look like boring old Lily. I want him to notice that I’ve done something different, besides, this is my coming of age party, it has to be special.”_

_Rose looks through her closet once more and then selects a few items: a pair of tight jeans and one of the jumpers that Gran had made her for Christmas. Lily makes a face at her but Rose gives her a look that indicates Lily has to try it on. She does and then makes a face at the mirror. “I look so boring,” she complains._

_“You do not,” Rose replies. “I think you look great, but you always do. I just don’t think you’ll look as good if you’re all done up,” she says with a shrug._

_“I am not wearing this to try and seduce Teddy Lupin,” Lily replies, shaking her head and stripping out of the jumper. “No way.”_

_Rose just shrugs. “How about we curl your hair for now, we can figure out your clothes in a bit.”_

_Lily nods and walks over to the bed. She sits in front of the mirror and twirls a lock of hair around her wand. Rose does the same on the other side and they each mutter the spells required for Lily’s hair to curl into perfect ringlets. She does a quick makeup job after, just a little mascara and some eyeliner and then turns back to the clothes. “This is impossible,” she states, shaking her head. “I should just wear my Weasley jumper.”_

_“I think so,” Rose replies with a shrug. “Seriously, if he does want you, like you think he does, then he’ll want you in one of Gran’s jumpers. Hell, he probably has one of his own.”_

_Lily pictures Teddy wearing one, midnight blue to match the common colour of his hair or a deep green, to compliment his amber eyes. She feels her cheeks flush and sighs, “Merlin, he’s fit,” she says, lying back against her bed. “He's so fit, there’s no way he’ll ever want me,” she adds with another sigh._

_“Oh Lily, I love you, but do shut up,” Rose says, crossly. “You’re just making it worse, thinking about it too much. Now, put your jumper on and get your cute arse down to the Hog’s Head before he begins to think that you aren’t coming.”_

_“Ugh, fine,” Lily replies indignantly. She slips the jumper over her head and looks into the mirror again. She looks better this time, with her hair done and the small amount of makeup she’d put on. She realizes that Rose is right. If Teddy wants her, he wants her as she is, not as some done up doll. If he doesn’t, well then, she’ll just have to move on. There are plenty of fit blokes although she doesn’t think any of them are as fit as Teddy is. She just shakes her head and turns back to Rose. “Well, I hope this works out,” she says before going over and making sure she has everything she needs for the evening._

_“I hope so too, even though Teddy is ancient and you should be looking for someone closer to your own age,” Rose replies._

_“He is not ancient!” Lily protests. “He’s only twenty seven!”_

_Rose just arches her brow and says nothing else on the matter. She moves over and fixes Lily’s hair slightly and then goes back and sits on the bed. “You have to promise me one thing,” she says before Lily can pick up her broom in order to leave._

_“Oh yeah?” Lily replies, prepared to snap back at her depending on what it is that she’s demanding. She’s already tired of Rose always being right, especially about tonight. Lily just hopes that Rose isn’t right about Teddy being too old for her, or about Teddy not wanting her. She really hopes that she’s not doing all of this for nothing._

_Rose stays silent for a moment or two before saying, “Promise to tell me what it’s like, if it happens. Teddy Lupin is quite fit, even if he is older,” she says as a blush colours her cheeks._

_Lily laughs, “I wouldn’t hold back a single detail,” she vows. “Now help me charm my hair so that it won’t frizz while I fly over.”_

_Rose laughs and does so, and also forces Lily into a pair of heels that are both extremely sexy and extremely hard to walk in. It’s a good thing that she doesn’t plan to stand on them for too long because she thinks she might topple over if she does. Finally, Lily gives herself one last look in the mirror and then turns and smiles at her cousin. “Thank you,” she says._

_“You’re welcome,” Rose replies, smiling back. As Lily wraps her cloak around her shoulders and climbs onto the broom, Rose adds, “Don’t forget a single detail.”_

_“I won’t,” Lily promises and then flies off out of the window, toward Hogsmeade and Teddy’s quaint little pub._

***

_You have been followed_  
back to the same place I  
sat with you drink for drink  
take the pain out of love and the love won’t exist  
Everything We Had- The Academy Is...

 

A few days after his conversation with Jamie, Teddy is in Diagon Alley fetching supplies for the bar the next time he catches sight of Lily Luna Potter. This time she’s with Jamie, sitting outside of Fortescue’s and digging into a giant iced cream sundae. Teddy tries to turn around and go a different way because he still hasn’t figured out what it is that he wants to say to her but he’s spotted. Jamie calls him over, grin wide and arms flailing. “Stop pretending you don’t see me, Theodore Lupin,” he teases. 

Ted forces an easy looking grin across his face and strides over toward them. “Hey Jamie,” he says, “Lily,” he adds as an afterthought when she looks at him imploringly, “How are the two of you today?” 

“Great,” James replies, “It’s awesome, having my favourite sister home for once,” he adds, grinning over at said, only, sister. 

“And it’s such a beautiful day,” Lily adds, obviously ignoring the bait, “that we just had to come out for a bit. Number Twelve was getting quite stifling.” She leans back in her chair and lifts her head toward the sun. He tries not to, but Teddy can’t help but stare at the pale curve of her neck and remember not only seeing it adorned with love bites that he’d made but also what it tasted like. The thought brings back images that Teddy really can’t afford to think about, not when Lily is trying her hardest to worm her way back into his life. The temptation would prove to be too much. 

He forces himself to look away lest his imagination get away from him and smiles at them both. “It is nice out, too bad I need to get supplies for the pub and head back to Hogsmeade. Apparently there’s quidditch this weekend and those damned seventh years need little-to-no reason to drink themselves into oblivion and make a mess of my bar,” he laughs. “Too bad I’m the only one working there, sometimes I think I could use a hand.”

Teddy knows he’s said the wrong thing as soon as Jamie’s eyes light up. He’s seen that look a thousand times and he knows right away that Jamie is up to something.“Well, Lily’s around for a while, why don’t you get her to help you out?” Jamie asks pointedly. “I know you’ve been complaining about needing some help for some time and she has nothing to do, anyway.” 

Teddy looks at him, shocked, and says, “No... I couldn’t....” He resists the urge to fling hexes at his friend. Jamie knows of his past with Lily and he knows that Teddy is still upset about it. Hell, Jamie was there when Teddy had drunk himself into a stupor because he’d just fucked a girl that wasn’t enough like Lily. This isn’t fair and Jamie knows it. Teddy just can’t say anything because he knows that if he refuses it, Jamie will casually mention it to Harry and Harry will ask Teddy to hire on Lily as a favour. It’s likely better this way, since this way he can get away with only having her there for one night instead of permanently.

“No, I’ve got nothing going on,” Lily replies which certainly does not help. It’s too soon for this conversation, Teddy hadn’t been ready. “And I’d love to help you out this weekend, it’ll get me out of the house. Ever since Al and Scorpius started dating, he and Dad have been rowing almost everyday,” she adds, looking straight at him as if challenging him to say no. It’s like the Potters are all plotting against him, all they need is to get Al on board. 

“Come on Ted, do my little sister a favour,” Jamie adds, “I’ll owe you one.” 

Teddy curses the fact that he’s never been able to say no to Jamie and shakes his head. It’s worse because Teddy knows Jamie is fully aware of what he’s doing.“Well you’ve twisted my arm. Lily, be at the bar at opening and be prepared for unruly seventeen year olds,” he says, “But for now, I must be going.” 

Teddy waves at them both and leaves before he has the chance to agree to anything else. He takes note, however, of the surprise in Lily’s eyes and vows to make her do all of the worst work available. It serves her right, forcing herself back into his life like this, before he’d been ready for it. 

He’s in a sour mood when he finally gets back to the bar, such a sour mood that he doesn’t even bother to put his supplies away before pouring himself a drink, draining it, and then pouring himself another. Finally, when he’s halfway through the third, he organizes the supplies and makes sure he’s ready to open. 

The first few hours are pretty slow. He only gets two customers between the hours of seven and ten: one being a regular who works in Diagon Alley and comes in every night for a nice stiff drink before heading home to his family and the other being a witch who always keeps her face shrouded and sits in the far corner. 

Both are gone long before Teddy waves his wand and transforms the pub into a club for the evening, as he does every Wednesday. After Aberforth had passed on and left the bar to Teddy, he’d decided that it needed a little bit of a kick in order to appeal to the younger crowd, so on wednesdays, he makes sure to spell the floor so that it lights up when it’s stepped on and stocks up on sweet things to mix with. He knows the Hogwarts seventh years will be spilling in between ten and eleven and he knows they’ll all be bleary eyed and hung over the next morning. There are also young witches and wizards that apparate there as well, often recently graduated Hogwarts students but they are not nearly as numerous as the students themselves. 

Once he’s finished organizing the club, Teddy pours himself another drink. He’s finding it very difficult, ever since Lily has returned, to be able to deal with the crowds and sometimes with just his few evening customers without alcohol blurring his edges a little. He knows that it’s not good, but he really can’t deal with anything otherwise. He wishes, most times, that Lily had just stayed wherever she’d gone so that Teddy can just live his life again. He’d been fine before but not anymore. He feels like he can’t even breathe because of the pressure her presence is putting on him. 

It’s become quite clear to Teddy that he’s not at all over Lily, even though he very well should be after six years, but there’s nothing he can do to advance himself from the moment that she left him. Now, with her back, it just grates on his nerves more and he feels raw, like he can’t stand the idea of people touching him, or crowding too close. It’s going to be even worse when she comes to help on the weekend. Teddy is really not looking forward to having her so near to him, for so many hours. He’s not sure he can handle it, even with the help the alcohol provides. He needs to make another appointment soon, since booze is just not enough to keep the thoughts at bay anymore. He needs the sharp sting of the needle scraping across his skin, adding to the colour that’s already on his skin. 

Tattoos are the one thing in Teddy’s life that don’t remind him of Lily, since his skin had been blank when they’d been together. The only problem is, he goes to a muggle shop, so he can’t very well send an owl, he’s going to have to wait until the morning. 

Teddy’s thoughts are interrupted when the patrons begin to trickle in, turning slowly into a smooth stream. He’s too busy slinging out drinks and keeping control of the area. He’s lucky that Jamie drops by because he’s just in time to stop a bar fight between two Gryffindor beaters over a cute little wisp of a girl. Teddy assumes she’s a seeker because she has the right build for it. The fight breaks out nearing closing time, thankfully so after Jamie breaks them up, Teddy gets everyone out and then hops over the bar and leads him back behind it.

“Merlin, Ted, you should have had Lily start today,” He says as he hold some ice to his rapidly swelling eye. 

“No,” Teddy replies. “Why rush it? Especially since I didn’t want her to start at all,” he states pointedly. 

“Oh Ted, don’t be like that,” Jamie replies, shaking his head. “You both just need to get over yourselves and have a real conversation. I’m tired of you being constantly angry and I’m tired of her haunting her room and being irritable. You’re perfect for each other, you both just need to realize it.”

Teddy thinks that Jamie must have been hit harder than he’d originally believed, especially if he’s going on about this. Jamie knows that this is territory that’s better left unexplored because of how upset Teddy gets about it. “I don’t want to talk about it,” he growls. 

Jamie rolls his eyes which causes him to wince. Teddy thinks it serves him right, for continuously trying to get Teddy to talk about Lily. He doesn’t want to and he especially doesn't want to be forced to. 

Thankfully, Jamie shuts up about it and allows Teddy to do some rudimentary healing magic on him before leaving and heading back home. Teddy returns to the bar and cleans up after the busy night and doesn’t take to his bed until far too late in the night. Thankfully, he’s asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow so that he doesn’t have to think about anything that Jamie had said.

***

_Honey you can trick me to feel right_  
I can’t believe I know what you taste like  
I know you know that I’ll love you  
all around the room  
and I’ll dream all night to touch you  
the way I do  
I Know You Know- Empires

 

_  
Lily is surprised when she finds the door locked, until she remembers that Teddy had decided to close for the evening. Instead she steps forward and the wards offer instant recognition. The door opens and allows her into the pub. Immediately, she smiles up at Teddy who is standing behind the counter, looking rakish as usual._

_Teddy just grins back at her and starts mixing her a drink before she even sits on one of the stools. “Where are all your friends?” he asks when she gets close enough._

_“No one could come,” Lily replies. “We’re not allowed off the grounds when we’re sixteen and since I was born so early in the year, I’m the only one of age,” she adds with a shrug. She knows it’s not entirely true, some of her friends had offered to sneak out and risk detention for her but she’d declined their offers. She knows exactly how she plans to spend her birthday and it involves no one other than she and Teddy._

_Teddy nods, “Ah yes, now I remember. Poor you,” he says with mock sincerity, “you’ll just have to do with me, then. Well, me and an Obsidian Elixir,” he adds with a smirk. “It’s the house specialty. Guaranteed to have you on your ass in three drinks or less,” he adds with a laugh._

_“Well then I’ll have to take it slow,” Lily replies. She takes a sip and her eyes brighten. It’s quite strong, like Teddy had implied but it’s also the most amazing thing she’d ever tasted in her life. “Wow, Teddy, this is delicious!”_

_“I know, I invented it myself,” he adds. “But, since you have no one else coming, why don’t we head upstairs where it will be more comfortable? I can owl your brothers and see if they want to join us,” he suggests._

_While Lily can be agreeable to the first part of the offer, there is absolutely no way that she’s going to allow Al or Jamie to come and ruin this for her, so she arches a brow at Teddy and says, “I don’t want my brothers to learn anything of this night. It’s my birthday and I want to spend it how I want to spend it and it doesn’t involve gossiping about fit blokes with Al or getting lectured for it by Jamie. I will take you up on your offer to move somewhere more comfortable though,” she adds at the end._

_“Well, your wish is my command,” Teddy replies. He grabs a few bottles like he had the last time and heads toward the stairs. “If we need more, I’ll come back down and get it.”_

_Lily nods then follows him up to his flat and slides down onto the couch next to him. She leans into him as he pours them each a drink and smiles when he hands it to her. “So what did you do for your coming of age?” she asks curiously._

_“You were there,” he replies. She knows that he’s referring to the fancy dinner that they’d all gone to at Andromeda’s house but that’s not what she means at all. She gives him a look because she knows that he’s lying and finally he laughs, “Alright, fine,” he says after a few moments. “I went out with my mates, got ridiculously drunk and ended up throwing up in the alleyway outside of the Three Broomsticks. After I got a sobering potion into me, Samantha McMillan took me to her room as the Head Girl and spent the rest of the night deflowering me,” he laughs. “Afterwards, she ignored me for the rest of the year.”_

_Lily laughs and takes a long pull on her drink. “Well it’s a good thing I don’t have any pesky virginity to be taken. I wouldn’t like it much if you avoided me for the rest of the year...”_

_Teddy looks at her, face filled with shock, “Lily!”_

_“What? I haven’t been a virgin since I was fifteen,” she replies, shrugging. “Just don’t tell my father, if he knew he’d never let me step foot out of the house again. Not even to go to school.”_

_“I have half a mind never to let you go to school again, too,” Teddy replies. He takes a deep drink from his glass and sets the now empty vessel on the table. “I think I need another drink in order to let that set in,” he adds._

_“How about this time, we do shots,” Lily suggests to him. She grins evilly and pushes her glass toward him. Teddy grins. shakes his head and then pours them each about a shot worth of Ogden’s and pushes her glass back. She picks hers up and then tilts it down her throat, relishing the burn of the firewhiskey as it flows down her throat._

_Teddy tips his back as well and shakes his head as soon as it’s done. “That burns,” he complains. “So who was it?” he asks, pouring more alcohol into their glasses._

_“Who?” Lily asks before she realizes who he means. “Are you still on about that?” she asks with a laugh. “You’re not going to like it,” she adds._

_“I told you,” Teddy presses. He tips his glass back once more and Lily watches as he swallows around the liquid; the view makes her swallow as well._

_“McLaggen,” she replies with a shrug. She grabs her own drink and drains it, then slams it down next to his._

_“But you weren’t even...” Teddy says out loud. Then, “You slag! You didn’t date him until this year!” he exclaims._

_“I’m not a slag!” Lily protests, “I was curious and McLaggen is kind of insanely fit, even though he’s a right git.”_

_Teddy just laughs and mixes them each a drink this time. This suits Lily just fine since she doesn’t think that she could handle anymore shots at this point in time. She leans against Teddy heavily and clutches her drink to her chest. “I’m really not a slag though,” she says quietly._

_Teddy, sobered from her reaction, slips an arm around her and holds her close. “I don’t actually think you’re a slag, Lily,” he says quietly. She feels pressure against her head and realizes that he’s got his cheek against her hair. Lily’s heart beats faster but she waits to see if he says anything else. “I do think that McLaggen didn’t deserve the privilege of having you first though,” he says quietly. She can feel his breath against her ear, tickling over the fine hairs there. Lily stays silent a little longer, still curious to see if he’ll say anything else. “I know it sounds old fashioned, but you should have waited for someone you loved.”_

_Lily laughs, sounding perhaps a little too self-deprecating to uphold the previous light mood._

_She doesn’t mean to say it, but she’s already had enough to drink to loosen her tongue. “If I had done that, I would still be waiting,” she states sadly. She takes a generous drink of her firewhiskey and then determines to change the subject. “Tell me a secret,” she says, “Something no one else knows.”_

_Teddy’s arms fall away, giving Lily some space to regain her head, and thinks for a moment or two before replying, “I have inappropriate feelings for someone that I shouldn’t,” he says finally._

_Lily looks at him then. He’s looking at her like he really does have feelings he thinks are inappropriate and he’s torn by them. He hadn’t said who the feelings were for, but Lily can tell. His eyes, amber now, like his father was said to have, give it away and Lily feels her breath become tightly trapped in her chest. It’s one thing for her to girlishly imagine what it would be like if Teddy returned what she felt for him but it’s another altogether to be faced with the fact that he does. She slowly places her drink on the nearby table being too intoxicated to trust herself with the use of her wand and turns toward him. “Oh yeah?” she asks, leaning even closer, “I do too.”_

_Teddy looks at her uncertainly,whether it’s because of her closeness or because he’s confused as to who it is that she has feelings for. Lily doesn’t give him time to really reflect on what she’s just said though, since she leans forward and presses her lips to his. It’s gentle, almost chaste, since Lily is still nervous that she’s read him wrong. Her fears are soon confirmed when Teddy doesn’t make any move to deepen the kiss or to even touch her. Lily’s heart sinks and her cheeks flush in embarrassment as she begins to pull away only to find Teddy’s hands grasping her biceps and then pulling her closer._

_Lily allows him to grasp her like that and pulls back slightly before leaning back in and this time giving him a proper kiss. Her chest is tight and she can’t breathe for an entirely different reason than before. She feels like she’s on fire, the sparks shooting through her veins as his lips slide over hers. Her skin tingles everywhere she feels his fingers, moving from her biceps into her hair, pulling her closer still even though she’d thought that was impossible. Lily gasps into his mouth, giving him the opportunity to slide his tongue in, pressing it against hers, like he wants to crawl inside of her because otherwise he just can’t be close enough._

***

_You hit the road and left me an ocean_  
I can’t swim in the silence of your skin (skin)  
Please let me in  
My Favourite Accident- Motion City Soundtrack

 

Friday night comes far too quickly for Teddy. The more he wills time to move more slowly, the faster it seems to pass for him. He’s dreading the evening but it sneaks up on him and soon he’s spelling the doors unlocked and waiting for the customers, and Lily, to arrive. The first to trickle in are his regulars, who he serves easily and with enthusiasm. The only good thing about tonight will be the constants, the things that happen to Teddy every night. He knows that the shrouded witch, a leftover from when Aberforth had owned the bar, will come in and order her smoking Elemental Absinthe and sip it until she leaves without a word a few hours later, only moments before the crowd begins to trickle in. Hagrid might come in and sit at the bar, speaking to Teddy about the latest creature he’s managed to come into possession of, or to talk to him about the new students. Teddy looks forward to these customers so that he can keep his head. It seems like it’ll be near impossible with Lily so close to him all night. Teddy can’t stand the thought of her being behind the bar and he’s really not sure how he’s going to make it through the night. 

Lily arrives half an hour before the crowd is expected. She walks in with snow clinging to her scarf and a bright smile on her face. Her red hair glows under the dim lights and her skin looks impossibly pale beneath it. She looks good, healthy, like she’s come into her years with grace. Teddy isn’t surprised, it seems like everything has come to Lily easily: men, grades, quidditch... it still stings Teddy that she had the chance to do what he couldn’t and that she gave up on it. 

Lily walks up to him and removes her jacket, revealing a Weasley jumper and tight jeans underneath. The vision tugs at Teddy’s heart because it’s exactly what she’d been wearing when she’d come to him on the evening of her eighteenth birthday and he’d learned that she felt the same for him as he did for her. He resists the urge to send her away because truthfully, he really needs the help she’s offered. 

Teddy makes his way over toward her, careful to keep his face impassive and keep control over his magic. His hair tends to go red and spiky when he’s angry and deep purple when he’s upset unless he concentrates to stop that from happening. “You can put your coat in the back,” he says. 

“Thanks,” she says and smiles at him brightly. “And thanks, Ted. I’m so glad to be out of the house. Mum and Dad are driving me mad.”

This is something Teddy can understand. He’d lived at Grimmauld place for a couple of months after graduating from Hogwarts and being scouted by that quidditch feeder team. Harry and Ginny rowed like teenagers and made up for it like rabbits. He smirks at her because of the familiarity of that statement. Lily looks down, then back at her and smiles back at him. He’s surprised that she seems shy but he tries to push the thought aside; he cannot afford to fall for Lily again. 

He watches as she goes to the back to hang up her coat but then turns back to the tasks at hand. Teddy is quite talented in Transfiguration and Potions but not so much with charms so he needs to do most of his prep work by hand in order to keep up with the demand the bar has on nights like these. If he tries to use cutting charms or cleaning charms, he generally just ends up with a bigger mess to clean up. Besides, doing things the muggle way and having a muggle themed bar go hand in hand. He’s slicing limes when Lily comes back out and says, “Let me.”

Gently, she takes the knife from his hands and slides the limes over toward herself before casting a quick spell and letting the magic do the work. Teddy just shrugs and moves on to the next task, allowing Lily to help where she’s useful. Finally, the patrons start streaming in and the band starts setting up. At this point, Teddy’s attention is taken over by getting Hugo, Roxie and the Scamander twins onstage so he ignores Lily entirely and hopes that she still remembers how to mix drinks. 

Finally, once the band is onstage, Teddy is able to return to his spot behind the bar and start doing what he’s really good at. He basically ignores Lily as he works since if he even starts to think about her, he’ll lose concentration and the night will be an absolute disaster. It’s far too busy for Teddy to let anything get to him right now least of all his co-worker. He slides drinks down the bar, pours shots and gets tipped all while keeping time with the fantastic music that the band is playing up on stage. Suddenly, he realizes that he’s actually having fun. Just as suddenly, he realizes that this shouldn’t be a surprise. He loves his job, his bar and he especially loves these busy nights. He’d just let his own bitterness get in the way of actually enjoying himself. He and Lily work well together, but they always have. The only difference between this night and the ones she’s helped him out previously is that he’s not going to drag her up to his flat afterwards. 

He watches as she smiles and flirts with the patrons and gets them to buy more to drink. Teddy realizes then that she’s good at this and that maybe... he could use her for more than just a night. He’s always had so much trouble getting someone talented to work for him because Hogsmeade is so cold and out of the way. Teddy doesn’t mind because he’s quite talented Aparating but some witches and Wizards just aren’t, and he doesn’t like opening the Floo until the bar is open. He knows that Lily loves this place as much as he does and well... it would just make sense.

Once the bar is closed and they’re cleaning up after a busy night, Teddy approaches Lily, who is in the corner counting up the sickles, knuts and galleons. She pauses her work and looks up at him. Teddy thinks that were this six years ago, he’d have taken full advantage of the way she peers at him from under her lashes. He’d have pressed her up against the counter, slid his lips against hers and gotten his hands up into her hair. Within minutes, Lily’s jumper would have been tossed aside and he’d have been working on her undershirt. Teddy remembers all the times they’d had sex on the very counter she’s standing up against and he can tell by the look in her eyes that she remembers too. She’s just about to move forward, toward him when he shakes his head.

He doesn’t say anything about the past, or the thoughts he’d been having which were obvious by the pinkening of his hair and the lust in his eyes, Instead, he clears his throat and takes a step back. “You did well tonight,” he says. The words are almost impossible to tear from his throat but he needs to say this because he truly needs her help. “I’m not sure how long you’re planning on hanging around here but, I really could use the help, I mean, regularly.”

He winces when her eyes go from open and lusty, a look he’s always loved to see on her, to shielded. “Are you sure? A few weeks ago, you told me you didn’t want me in here again...”

“You know why,” Teddy replies. This time, he takes a step forward again which puts him close enough to breathe her in. She smells like apricot mixed with something a little muskier; it’s intoxicating. He’s almost leaning right into her space when he says, “I really want you here now, you’re the only one I’ve ever been able to work around successfully.” He thinks the reason for that may have been that they’d been fucking before but despite his current feelings toward her, they still fit together extremely well, at least behind his bar. 

Lily leans toward him, closing even more of the distance between them and looks up at him. She’s silent for a long moment, eyes locked on his. She’s so close that he can feel the heat of her breath on his neck. It takes all of his willpower not to move in and kiss her like he desperately wants to. Finally, she says, “I’d like that.”

Teddy grins at her and moves to slide a hand through her hair. He stops short though, remembering that he can’t do that anymore and he moves back. This isn’t something he can do, at least not yet. It doesn’t matter how much he wants to, or how much she apparently does too, it’s just not something he’s ready for. Without another word, he leaves her to finish counting and he escapes to the back to wash the glasses. Before jumping into his task, he closes his eyes and rubs his forehead. Having Lily here is going to be difficult, but he thinks it’ll be good for the bar and he knows that eventually, it’ll be good for him too. It’s just... it’s going to be hard for a while. Ultimately, even if they don’t mend things between them in a romantic sense, he’d like to have his friend Lily back. Finally, he decides that this is a good decision and feels a sudden lightness in his muscles and limbs. 

Finally, when the chores for the evening are done, Lily smiles and waves to him from the door and tells him that she’ll see him tomorrow for the pub’s karaoke night and then walks out. Teddy sets all the wards and then retires to his own flat upstairs. This time, he doesn’t feel the need to pour himself a drink before settling into bed. Before he goes to sleep, he sends Jamie a quick owl, thanking him for forcing him into letting Lily into the bar.

***

_don't you worry,_  
don't think about tomorrow morning,  
what's your hurry?  
just focus on tonight  
flaskaboozendancinshoes- The Limosines

_After long moments of breathless kissing, Lily finally pulls away and looks into Teddy’s eyes. He’s looking back at her, unsure and slightly embarrassed. Lily brings her hand slowly up from his hip and slides it through his hair. He closes his eyes and breathes deeply and she watches as his hair changes from its regular midnight blue to teal, to pink and then to a mixture of all three. She runs her thumb over his eyebrow and leans in to kiss his slightly parted lips once more. She slowly makes her way onto his lap without breaking the kiss, spreading her legs to either side of his thighs. She can feel him hard against her leg and it makes her grin into the kiss, knowing that she’s the one doing this to him and not some slag he brings up from the bar._

_When Teddy groans into her mouth, the sound reverberates over her whole body, shooting straight to her groin. She arches into him and he drops his lips to her neck. She sucks in a deep breath and whispers, “Fuck Teddy...” She drops her hands down and begins to fumble with his trousers. At this point, she’s too enthralled with what they’re doing and she doesn’t even think to disrobe him with her wand. She just wants to get her hands onto him as quickly as possible._

_He catches her by the wrist and looks straight at her. She smiles at him prettily but he shakes his head, “Lily, I don’t want to shag you tonight.”_

_Her smile immediately turns into a frown and she begins to pull away. Teddy sighs, “I didn’t mean it like that,” he says softly. “I do want to shag you, more than you know. Lily, you’re beautiful and vibrant and amazing and a whole lot of other things that I can’t put into words right now. I just don’t want to shag you tonight, not when we’re both drunk. I don’t want this to be a mistake for you.”_

_“It’s not-” Lily starts._

_“I know, I think you want this just as much as I do,” he says, “but I want to take you on a date first. I want our first time together to be perfect, like you deserve it to be.”_

_“Teddy-”_

_“It’s not something I’m willing to argue about,” he says. He kisses her again and nuzzles her neck. “Now, let’s celebrate your coming of age properly,” he adds. “I’m still sober enough to Aparate us to a great club and we can Floo back here afterward.”_

_Finally, Lily nods. “Okay, let’s do that,” she says. She climbs off of him and then stands and stretches, “I still maintain that it would not be a mistake.”_

_Teddy stands next to her and smiles, “I know, love, but I’m an old fashioned kind of guy. I want to give women good things when they deserve it and this, it could be a really good thing, if we do it right.”_

_Lily is pretty flattered by that and feels herself blush. She knows she’d rather stay in with Teddy and do everything to him that he thinks she should wait for. He pulls her toward himself, sliding his mouth against hers in a way that makes her knees weak and her heart flutter. She reaches down and takes his hips in her hands, then pulls him flush against her. He groans again which makes her tingle all the way down to her toes and just as she’s about to wrap a leg around him, he pulls away again._

_Lily leans back against the wall and looks at him between all of the strands of hair that have fallen into her face. He’s flushed almost as red as her hair and the bulge in his jeans is unmistakable. There’s no way Lily is letting him convince her out of this. She brushes her hair from her eyes and smiles at him. “I’m just going to use the loo for a moment,” she says and then flounces off._

_Once she gets into the washroom, she gets to work. First, she strips off her jumper and tosses it aside. Her jeans follow soon afterward. Thankfully, she’d had the foresight to wear sexy underwear because she doesn’t think that she has the concentration even to change its colour magically. She looks in the mirror, takes a good look at herself and then tosses her hair over her shoulder so that it drapes down her front. She slips her heels back on before spelling the door unlocked, taking a breath and walking out the door to seduce the only man she’s ever wanted this much._

_Teddy isn’t in the common area when she comes back into the room but she can hear him cursing not far off. He must be in the bedroom. This makes things much easier for her. She walks into his bedroom and sees that he’s got his back to her and that he’s shirtless. Lily takes a moment to appreciate the muscles on his back and how they move as he struggles to get into a tighter pair of trousers. Lily’s seen him in these ones before and her mouth waters just thinking about how good they look on him._

_She walks toward him a s quietly as she can but he still manages to hear her and turn around just as she’s about to run her hands up his naked torso. She sees his eyebrows shoot up when he gets a good look at her and forces herself not to blush. She’s done this before; it’s not like she’s a virgin, like Teddy had been, and she wants it. Lily stands in front of him and lets him drink her body in. She’s wearing lace, both knickers and bra in an emerald that would befit a Slytherin. She knows the colour compliments her skin though, and that it matches her eyes perfectly. She forces herself not to bite her lip or try to cover up._

_Teddy’s eyes rove over her body and he whispers, “Bloody hell, Lily...” before moving forward like he can’t stop himself. Before Lily realizes what’s happening, she’s been tossed onto his bed and his body is covering hers. She feels his lips and teeth drag across her neck and his hands drop to her waist. She feels like she’s dying for him to move his hands just that much lower but he doesn’t. Instead, his mouth moves down, kissing over her tits now and she arches her back up toward him. One of his hands comes up and drags the strap of her bra down while the other moves to pull the flimsy material down further, exposing her fully._

_Lily’s breath catches in her throat as his lips find one of her nipples and pleasure rockets through her body. She spreads her legs further and then brings them up to encase Teddy’s hips in them. There’s no way she’s going to let him convince her out of this again. Lily needs it now and she needs it from Teddy. She tosses her head back and arches further into his touch._

_“Merlin, fuck,” Lily hears Teddy say as he moves lower down her body. “I don’t know what I did to deserve this,” he adds._

_Lily is about to tell him to shut up and keep going when she feels his hands tugging her knickers down to her knees. Her eyes go wide at this point, since somehow she’d figured after he’d tried convincing her out of it once already, things would not have progressed this far. She helps him by kicking them off and letting her legs fall flat against the bed. Just before he touches her, Lily props herself up onto her elbows so that she can watch him._

_Teddy’s face is now level with her pussy and he’s looking at it with something akin to worship written across his face. In order to give him a better view, she bends her knees and pushes her hips upwards, all the while still watching him to see what he’s going to do. Teddy looks up at her, catches her eyes before looking back down and then rubbing his thumb over her swollen nub with just enough pressure that her hips nearly shoot off the bed. She almost does it again after feeling his warm breath dance over her folds._

_He breathes out onto her once more before moving his hands up to her hips and really diving in. Lily can’t help but let an “oh!” escape from her throat as he begins to lick over her, running his tongue flat against her and putting just enough pressure in all the right places. No one has ever done this for Lily before. McLaggen had thought the idea of it disgusting but yet had no problem with the idea of her mouth on him. The halls of Hogwarts don’t really allow for time either, so most of her experience has been quick and to the point. Teddy’s mouth on her, his tongue stroking over her, dipping in, is absolutely amazing._

_She cries out when he flicks his tongue against her and arches off his bed. Already, she’s a complete mess, drunk not only on the alcohol they’ve been consuming, but also completely drunk on the lightning bolts of pleasure resonating all the way through her body. She thinks that this absolutely cannot get better until he moves his hand from her hip and slowly presses his fingers inside of her. Lily’s mouth opens and a series of unintelligible expletives spew out. By this point, her hips absolutely have a mind of their own, thrusting up toward his mouth and pressing down against his fingers. He’s intensified his efforts as well since it’s obvious that she’s so close. Lily drops her elbows and falls back, head hitting the pillows as she arches up. She doesn’t even know what she’s saying anymore. All she knows is that her entire body is tingling now and she feels like she’s on fire._

_She brings her hands up and covers her face with them, embarrassed of what Teddy might see there, what he might read. She’d never been very good at hiding her feelings and she’s not ready to let him see how deeply they flow. She hikes a leg over his shoulder so that she can expose herself more fully and feels his tongue swirl around his still moving fingers. She moves a hand, just one, so that she can continue to cover her face and cups a tit with the other, flicking her own nipple which just makes the feeling of what Teddy is doing intensify. With one last crook of his fingers and one last flick of his tongue to her nub, Lily cries out and something inside of her breaks, sending shocks of pleasure over her that are so intense she has difficulty keeping hold of her thoughts and actions. Teddy continues to run his tongue over her, drinking her in, and pump his fingers inside of her for a few long moments before finally giving her relief and a chance to recover from the aftershocks still assaulting her body._

_He crawls up and slowly lifts the hands covering her face so that he can kiss her with surprising gentleness. Lily can feel him, hard and pressed up against her stomach but he makes no move to relieve himself, or to press into her and take his own pleasure. She reaches down and cups his erection in her hand, feeling the velvety smoothness of his skin for a second before he knocks her hand away. He pulls back to look at her and shakes his head. “Tonight is your night,” he says quietly. “I can wait til next time.”_

_Lily is still too blissed out to argue, so she just nods and lays there, regaining her breath. When she finally does, she laughs and sits up. “Fuck Teddy, that was incredible,” she admits. “Now I can’t wait til next time, since it seems that I’ve been missing out with my conquests.”_

_He grins at her and laughs as well and says, “Well, I will certainly enjoy showing you what you’ve been missing.” He reaches up and kisses her again before adding, “But for now, we should go back to the living room, where all the booze is and continue this celebration.”_

_Lily nods at him and finally pulls herself out of the bed. She locates her knickers and slides them back on but not before noticing Teddy’s eyes on her. She turns to him while still mostly naked and tosses her hair over her shoulder again. This time, she doesn’t try to force herself still, she just flashes him a smile and steals one of his shirts._

_“Merlin, you’re beautiful,” he says quietly. “I’ve noticed before, of course but just... wow.”_

_Lily smiles at him and drags him back out to the living room area where she positions herself against his chest and reaches for her near empty glass. She drains the rest of it and he refills it dutifully while they start talking about Quidditch. When he gets her off again, fingers in her knickers, mouth on her neck and a hand up her shirt, she certainly doesn’t complain, either._

***

_I wanna scream I love you from the top of my lungs_  
but I’m afraid that someone else will hear me  
The (Shipped) Gold Standard- Fall Out Boy

Somehow, working with Lily is quite pleasant for Teddy. She’s good at mixing drinks, almost as good as he is, and she’s good with the customers. She’s fantastic at casting cleaning spells and if it weren’t for the tension between the two of them, they’d be perfect working partners. Unfortunately, there is still so much that’s been left unsaid between them that Teddy still finds it difficult to be around her but the weird part about it is that he thinks they’re actually becoming friends again, through the process. Even though it is hard still, to act like they don’t have a past together, Teddy finds himself needing to drink less and less before working with her in the evenings. He’s glad for that, especially when the holidays come around. During Christmas, Teddy truly does need her help because he knows that in previous years, the Christmas holidays are his busiest time. 

About a week before Christmas, Teddy has Lily come in an hour early so that they can deck the pub out in tinsel and snowflakes and any other cheesy Christmas decoration they can think of. Lily comes in, bundled in her coat and an oversized sweater. He knows that she’ll change later because the tips are better when she wears the more revealing things but he’s glad that she’s going to wait. He feels more comfortable this way. 

Lily returns from setting her things in the kitchen with her wand drawn. “How do you want it to look?” she asks curiously.

“Cheesy and Christmas-y,” Teddy replies. “No mistletoe behind the counter though,” he adds even though he’s sure she wouldn’t do that. 

“Okay, I’ll do one side, you do the other?” she suggests and they both get down to work. 

Soon enough, the pub looks exactly like how Teddy would have pictured the North Pole to look as a child, complete with tinsel, nutcrackers and a little addition from Lily, holly and poinsettias. Teddy charms a few conjured sprigs of mistletoe to float around above where the heads of his patrons would be but makes sure that they are magically stopped from moving behind the bar. They finish just in time for Lily to change and for them both to glance around the pub before they’re spelling the doors open and letting the patrons drift in from the cold. 

It takes only about a half an hour before the pub is filled near to capacity and Teddy is bloodying his knuckles trying to make all the drinks that are being ordered. Perhaps he should have gotten Jamie behind the counter tonight as well... It’s too late now though, he doesn’t have time for a cigarette, let alone time to owl his best friend. He just keeps pouring liquor into glasses while Lily handles all the beers and ciders on tap. By the time they chase the last of the youngsters out, Teddy is tempted to just leave all of the clean up for the next day, he’s so exhausted. 

He watches as Lily leans heavily against the bar with her head hanging and her hair cascading over her shoulders. He lights a cigarette (finally!) and leans back against the bar as well. “Holy fuck,” he says after taking a long drag. 

Lily looks up at him and grins, “Bloody hell,” she replies. “That was mad,” she says as she pulls her hair back and rolls her shoulders. “I think you need more bartenders.” 

“I think you’re right,” Teddy replies. He puts the cigarette between his lips and spells two glasses clean before filling them with something- he’s not even sure what- and passing one to Lily. “You deserve it,” he says before slamming back his own drink and finishing off his smoke. Lily sips at hers daintily and Teddy just shakes his head. He moves closer to her, intent on getting at least some of the mess out of the way, until he catches sight of something out of the corner of his eye. There’s a sprig of mistletoe dancing above their heads and he’s close enough to Lily that he knows its intended for them. He must be staring because soon, Lily’s gaze follows his and he hears her gasp.

“Teddy, we don’t have to-” 

Her voice breaks the spell and soon Teddy is blinking over at her and moving even closer. She gasps again when he pulls her into his arms and the third is muffled by his lips hitting hers. It doesn’t take long before she’s opening her mouth to him and he’s sliding his still smoky tongue against hers, trying to rediscover everything about it that he wishes he’d forgotten. He crowds her against the bar, brings his hand up into her hair and continues to work on her mouth, nibbling at her lip, running his tongue over her teeth, sliding his tongue over hers and finally, finally finding her flavour again. Once he’s had a taste, he wants so, so much more, wants to be saturated in Lily. She’s consuming him again, just like she had the last time and he’s powerless against it. 

He drops her lips to her neck and tastes the salty muskiness of her skin after a long night. He nips at it and the noise she makes in response sends a rush of blood pulsing straight to his cock. He kisses over her chest and down between her tits, where she the taste is even more rich. “Fuck,” he breathes against her skin before reaching forward toward the bar and pushing the glasses from its surface. As the glass shatters on the floor, he lifts her onto the counter and dips his head lower on her chest, kissing over the material covering her skin. When he gets down to her stomach, he lifts her shirt and swirls his tongue around her navel. She tastes sweet here but not as sweet as he know she can be. Before he moves forward though, Teddy needs to make sure that this is okay.

The look on Lily’s face is one of pure bliss which leaves Teddy no room to doubt that she wants this, so he gives it to her. She’s wearing the more revealing clothes she normally does while mixing drinks, a low cut top and jeans that look like they’re painted on but he makes short work of them, pulling them down her slim hips. She had been a brilliant seeker, admittedly, apparently there had just been others that had been better than her. Teddy doesn’t allow himself to let his mind go down that path, instead he focuses on the beautiful, fiery red head beneath him and tugs off her jeans. She already looks blissed out; he’s going to make her look it more so. 

She cries out at the first swipe of his tongue and he almost stops to grin at her from between her legs. He doesn’t, instead he leans further in and sucks the nub into mouth, tasting Lily’s sweetness with his tongue, relishing having the flavor again. He slides his hands upward, over her hips, up her sides and underneath her top as he swirls his tongue around her. He slides it lower, points it and presses it inside of Lily and feels his cock twitch at the sounds she makes as he does so. He’d thought he’d be able to wait for her, to get her off once before needing to fuck her but he doesn’t think he can, not anymore. Teddy needs Lily, needs her like he needs his arms, or his legs, or even his magic. He needs her to let him back in, even though he’s made so many damned mistakes. 

He pulls his mouth away, kisses up her body, sucks on her nipples through her shirt. “Lily, I need-“

“Yes Teddy, please, I need you too,” she cuts him off, breathless with arousal and Teddy wants. 

“Fuck,” Teddy breathes. He reaches for a wand, not sure which one of theirs it is, and mutters a contraceptive charm. As soon as the words leave his mouth, he’s hefting her out of her shirt, attaching his lips to a nipple as she tugs down his jeans. He joins with her, groaning as he slides into her, feeling complete for the first time in years. “Oh gods, Lily,” he breathes against her neck. 

“Teddy, please,” she begs. Her voice is the same as it had been, all those years ago, now, and he needs to know if she still sounds the same when she hits her climax. 

Teddy puts his hands on her hips and starts moving. He fucks her quickly, both with most of their clothes still on, watches as her tits bounce with his thrusts. She looks beautiful, reckless abandon written across her face. She wraps her legs around him and pulls him down to kiss her, which only makes him thrust into her faster. He opens his mouth to her questing tongue and shifts his angle and that’s it, he can tell by the way she cries out. “Fuck, I’ll never get enough of this.” The words escape him before he realises he’s said them, but he knows that they’re true.

It’s fast after that, he slams into her, listens to her moans and cries like they’re the best thing he’s ever heard in his entire life because they are. Now that he’s tasted this again, he can never give it up, no matter how terrified he is about that thought. Lily could leave him again, he knows, but this time, this time it doesn’t seem like she will. It doesn’t seem like she wants to. 

He drops a hand between her legs, massages her clit as he continues thrusting, hoping that she gets there at the same time as he does, because there’s no way he’s going to last much longer. He tries to slow down, but she urges him to pick up the pace again and it’s only seconds before he’s growling into her neck and releasing inside her. She follows him closely, crying out his name and shifting her hips up toward him. 

Teddy collapses on top of her, kissing her wildly before pulling out of her and standing up. He tucks himself back into his pants. Lily gives him a wounded look but he smiles at her. “Do you want to come upstairs?” he asks quietly. 

Within seconds, the wounded look is replaced with a smile and she nods. “I’d like that,” she says, “We can clean all this up tomorrow.” She stands up and pulls her jeans back up and then links her arm with Teddy and heads up to his flat with him. 

Once inside, Teddy pours them each a drink and heads to his bedroom. He drains his drink and climbs into his bed before saying, “Thank you Lily. Now, do you mind if we do that again?” he asks gently. 

“I think I’d like that,” she says, laughing and drinking her own drink down with practiced eased. She looks sure, as sure as he feels, right now, so he strips her out of her clothes, tossing them across his room and does the same with his own.

Teddy joins her on the bed, stretching out his body next to hers. He runs a hand down her body, and smiles at her gently. “I’m an idiot,” he admits. He drops his hand to her thigh and adds, “You’re beautiful.” 

“Thanks, Ted,” she says softly. She covers his hand with her own and then moves it up between her legs, sliding his fingers through the moisture pooling there. “We can talk about it in the morning, okay?” she asks, before arching her hips upward and closing her eyes. 

Teddy’s mouth goes dry and his heart starts to feel like he’s been running a marathon. “Fuck, yeah, okay…” he whispers before dropping his lips to hers once more. “In the morning…” he agrees before pressing his lips to hers again then covering her body with his. It feels so good to be able to do this again, with her, and he doesn’t know why he’d been so resistant before this. Now that he’s had her again, now that he _has_ her again, he’s not going to be so willing to let her go. 

He spends the night showing her that-- showing he’s not going to let her go again. They don’t need words; all they need is each other.

***

_And suddenly, I become a part of your past_  
I’m becoming the part that don’t last  
I’m losing you and it’s effortless  
Over My Head (Cable Car)- The Fray

_Months pass blissfully between Teddy and Lily. Lily escapes the castle every weekend and stays at his flat above the bar. Oftentimes at night, she helps him mix drinks and serve customers. His cleaning charms are pants, and she’d learned from her Grandma Weasley, so she helps clean up after too. Then he brings her upstairs and makes love to her until she can’t even think anymore. It’s perfect and wonderful and amazing and she never ever wants to give it up._

_Exams come and go for her and now there’s only a few days until term lets out, so Lily heads down the path toward Hogsmeade and struts up to the Hog’s Head. She has great news and a bottle of champagne to celebrate it. She slips onto a stool and grins over at Teddy, whose chatting with one of his regulars. She waits for him to finish and then leans over the bar to kiss him when he comes over to her. “You’re closing early tonight, right?” she asks when she pulls away._

_He nods, “Yeah, Mondays aren’t usually very busy…” he tells her, “I think I’ll be done in about an hour. Want to head upstairs?” he suggests. Lily nods and kisses him once more before climbing the stairs to his flat. Once there, she sets everything up for a celebration even casts a spell on the champagne to keep it cold until he comes up stairs. She’s so excited to tell him her news that she can barely stand it. It’s hell waiting for him for an hour, but finally after Lily had paced, fought with the dress she’d changed into, spelled her hair into thirteen different styles before finally settling on the second, Teddy appears at the top of the stairs._

_“You look stunning,” he says, smiling over at her. “What’s the occasion?” She’d told him that she’d finished with her exams but she hadn’t told him anything else yet. “How about we eat dinner first, and then I’ll tell you,” she replies with a grin. She’d nicked some food from the kitchens at Hogwarts so that he wouldn’t have to cook for her, so she lays it all out on the table and sits down opposite him. She digs into her food and motions for him to do the same. When they finish, she stands up and goes to get the champagne._

_“I have an announcement,” she says, trying hard to keep the grin from her face. “So, you know how during my last quidditch game, there were scouts for the Harpies there?” she asks, eyes bright. “And you know how we have been practicing like mad people in order to be good enough to possibly get scouted?” she continues. She sees Teddy just nodding at her, waiting expectantly. “Well… I was sort of scouted? Hugo was scouted outright, it looks like he’ll be their back up seeker next year but I was offered to play on one of their feeder teams, so there’s a chance I can play professionally if I can prove myself.” It’s not fantastic news, but Lily feels like it’s still pretty damn good. She looks at Teddy expectantly but she can’t exactly read his face. Not even his hair is giving him away yet._

_Teddy is frowning when he asks, “and where is this feeder team located?” His voice is quiet, the way it usually gets when he’s trying to work things out in his head to see if something is worth the effort. Lily begins to get a bit frightened because she’s never seen him act this way with her, not even that first night when she’d had to seduce him. She hadn’t thought of that…_

_“Um…” she says, trying to stall, to think of something to say. It doesn’t matter though, since it certainly won’t change things. “In North America,” she finally admits._

_“North America?” he asks, still quiet. Lily doesn’t know what this means. “You’re going to move to North America. Did you not think that you should speak with me before making a decision like this?” he demands, finally letting his temper shine through._

_Lily shivers. She’s never been afraid of Teddy before but now, with the fire in his eyes and the stubborn set of his mouth, she feels a shiver of fear shoot up her spine. “I thought you’d be pleased for me,” Lily replies, pouting at him. This is everything she’s ever wanted, she thought that he’d be happy. “And I’ve thought about it, Teddy. We can get international port keys and still see each other. We can still-“_

_“No,” Teddy replies; his tone brokering no argument. “No, we can’t. I’m the descendant of a werewolf, in case you didn’t remember. It’s near impossible for me to travel freely and with you always caught up in practices, you’ll never make it back here,” he says it like it’s fact, like he knows. Lily realises that he probably does, since he’d been in training for a team before. He knows how long it takes and how much he had to sacrifice to do it only to end up being hurt and unable to play anymore._

_Immediately, Lily’s blood boils. She can tell already that he’s projecting onto her. He’s angry because she’s getting the chance that he’d been forced to give up, That’s not fair. It’s not her fault that he’d gotten hurt and it’s certainly not her fault that he’s jealous. She says as much, “Just because I’m doing what you weren’t able to doesn’t mean you can be such an asshole about it, Teddy,” she hisses, eyes bright. She can’t help but notice that he flinches at her words, backing up and shaking his head._

_“Do you actually think I’m so petty that I would actually be upset with you for being able to live your dream? You’re a fucking idiot, if that’s the case. Did it occur to you maybe I actually thought that we could build a future together? You moving to North America for who knows how long will definitely hinder that,” he growls. He narrows his eyes at her and deliberately blows out the candles in front of them, the ones that Lily had set up perfectly to celebrate this event. Her blood boils._

_“What the fuck, Teddy, can’t you even be a little bit happy for me? This is my dream come true and you can’t even--”_

_Teddy explodes and Lily has never seen anything like it before. “Of course I can be happy for you! I can be ever so happy that you didn’t talk to me before making a decision that impacts both of our lives significantly. I can be happy for you for not even taking me into account when you were the one who convinced me into this in the first place.” He stands up and walks toward the door. He opens it and says, “I think you should leave now.”_

_Lily glares at him and picks up the bottle of champagne that she’d brought. “You’re being bloody ridiculous,” she states, but there’s nothing calm about the tone in her voice. She’s clearly angry and at the breaking point._

_“I don’t want to see you any more,” he says. “Maybe I will again once you’ve fucking matured and can think beyond just what you need, especially concerning you’re supposed to be in a relationship. This is finished, Lily. Don’t bother fucking coming back. I thought we had something.”_

_Later, Lily will regret it, she knows, but right now she’s so angry that she can’t even control herself, literally shaking with it. She brings her arm back and hurls the champagne bottle at him. It’s a good thing that she’s not a beater because her aim is shit, although it does hit the doorjamb and shatters, spraying both her and Teddy with liquid and shards of glass. “Well fucking good riddance then, Ted, thanks for the fucking memories.” Then she strides down the rest of the stairs to his flat and heads back to Hogwarts._

_The next few days are a blur to Lily, too busy for her to feel much heartache. It’s only at night, when she’s alone that it really starts to sink in. She’s still angry though, so she doesn’t think on it too much. She doesn’t understand who he thinks he is, trying to control her future and her dreams like that. Even so, when she moves home for the few weeks between graduating from Hogwarts and when she’s supposed to leave, she wishes beyond anything for Teddy to come and at least say goodbye to her. She even pushes her stay in England for an extra week before finally coming to the conclusion that he’s not coming. It hurts, cuts her deeply but it also makes her stronger, she thinks, because once she gets to North America, not even the fittest men can make her turn her head. She’s become steel and nothing will get in her way, especially not matters of the heart. At least, that’s what she tells herself._

_Truthfully, she misses Teddy every single day and regrets that night more than anything else she’s ever done wrong. Lily feels like she’ll never ever forgive herself for letting him go the whole time she’s away from home._

***

_Sit back down where you belong_  
in the corner of my bar with your high heels on  
Sit back down on the couch where we  
made love the first time and you said to me  
something, something about this place  
something ‘bout lonely nights and your lipstick on my face  
You and I- Lady Gaga

_Epilogue_  


Teddy had known in order to keep Lily this time, he needed to hold onto her and never let her go. After that Christmas, he’d done just that. The morning after their unplanned trip up to his flat, he’d made her breakfast, kissed her until she woke up and then proceeded to lavish her with attention and bring her off more times than he can count. Now, five years later, he wakes her the exact same way.

He floats a tray loaded down with eggs, some orange juice and toast, Lily’s favourite, and then climbs into bed next to the woman he loves and kisses her until she blinks at him, then smiles. “Good morning,” he murmurs gently against her lips. 

“Hello,” she replies, voice still rough with sleep. “How long have you been awake?” 

“Long enough to have made breakfast,” he replies, spelling it over onto her lap. “It’s your favourite.”

“What’s the occasion?” Lily asks as she moves to pick up her fork and takes a bite. “This is delicious by the way,” she adds before taking another bite. 

“No occasion,” Teddy replies. “It’s just because I love you.” He grins over at her as her attention is taken up with eating and then digs around in the bedside table. He pulls out a box and holds it reverently in his hands. He hadn’t been sure before now, but it’s been five years since they’d gotten back together. It’s time for this, he knows it. He turns back toward her and can’t keep the nerves down. He knows his hair’s turned red to match the nervous flush across his cheeks. “Well, maybe there is an occasion,” he states as he pops open the box to reveal a beautiful ring. He’d carved it himself and set the stone with magic, so it’s really something that comes from him, something original. He hopes that she likes it.

“That’s gorgeous,” she replies, eyes wide. “Teddy?”

“Lily, I love you, and I can’t see myself being with anyone else in my lifetime, so please, make me the happiest man in the Wizarding world and beyond and do me the honours of becoming my wife?”

Tears are welling up in Lily’s eyes and Teddy reaches forward to wipe them away gently with his fingers. She looks at him and bites her lip, and for a second, his heart freezes. She’s going to say no and this will have all been a waste. He should have just left things-- but no, she’s nodding at him and reaching her hand out. He slides the ring on and grins. “Yes, fuck Teddy, of course I will,” she says quickly. She puts the food gently down onto the floor and then straddles him, still nude from the night before, and draws him in for a kiss. 

This is it, Teddy thinks. This is where he wants to wake up for the rest of his life and he’s so glad that they’d finally gotten over themselves and realized what they mean to each other. 

End.


End file.
